Custody of the children is one of the divorce areas most likely to cause heated disputes. It’s understandable with so much at stake, yet you need to do your best to avoid them. Not only can they prolong the divorce and worsen relations between you and your soon-to-be ex, but they can do considerable damage to your kids.
But what if your spouse seems intent on turning custody negotiations into a battle?
Do not react in anger
The judge has no interest in listening to you pick holes in each other’s past behavior and nor do your children. Just because your ex says something bad about you, or refers to a mistake you once made, does not mean you need to return the favor. You need to take the high road and treat them with respect, even if they are not doing the same for you.
Try to move the conversation forward
Firstly, you need to understand what outcome you want as you can’t focus on a goal until you determine that goal. If your spouse attempts to take the conversations in a different, unhelpful direction you need to bring things back to keep you moving toward the goal.
Step back if you need to
After years of marriage, your spouse may know exactly which buttons to push to trigger a poor response on your part. To avoid looking bad in front of a judge or saying something that could harm your divorce prospects or hurt your children (because they do get hurt when parents criticize each other), consider letting a legal representative handle the negotiations for you.