If you watch American soaps or Latin American novelas, you will have seen many divorces become long, drawn-out dramas. While they make for great television, they are best avoided in real life because they’re stressful, damaging and expensive.
The best kind of divorce is actually rather boring. They involve two people sitting down and discussing things in a civil manner, without dragging up the past or flinging mud at each other in court.
Focus on the solution rather than the problem
You cannot change the past. If your marriage has reached a point where it is no longer working then ending it is typically best for both people and any children involved. It can sometimes be hard for both parties to see this right now of course.
There are various issues you need to resolve to end your marriage:
- If you have children you need to think about where they will live, how much time they will spend with each parent and how you will split paying to raise them.
- If you have assets, you need to consider how you will divide them. While state laws will come into place if you cannot agree, you are free to make an agreement that differs from what the law would say.
- You also need to think about how you will support yourselves going forward. Leaving one of you in poverty is not an option any court would accept, and support payments from one spouse to the other may be needed if it will take one party longer to gain financial independence.
There is legal help available to guide you through the process.